Owner: “Why does no one follow the recipes!” The recipe:
I can't wait till I find a new job
by KermittheAss
29 Comments
PunkRockLlama42
The more you look at it the worse it gets
Upbeat_Land_4336
In all fairness, have you seen most line cooks?
xweakdaynachosx
11.5 tsp is crazy work
rmulberryb
This cookbook is the property of the half-blood chef
Krewtan
Why and when is salt optional?
WaitToRepair
1/2 teasp of **what??**
SebDevlin
> 5 cups of oil
> 1 cup yield
TimelySheepherder939
I remember reading a “recipe” that was just a list of ingredients. The cook who was with me responded with a “figure it out.” Like, no, what the fuck? You’re gonna show me what to do.
NounAdjectiveXXXX
>minced then crushed
mynameisnotsparta
What is oregano sexy?
firemonkeywoman
Ooh what is oregano sexy and where can I get some?
DownvoteSandwich
Kitchen staff are such babies. It’s a simple recipe, just follow it and stop whining.
Anyways someone pour me a glass with 47 tsp of wine (optional) and 2 ice cubes (sexy)
larstodson
This was written by someone with no knowledge of measurement conversions or food prep in any way.
Boriquasoy
My favorite part is that it yields 1c.
No-Diver-5700
Yields 1 cup but need 5 cups of oil
vibrantcrab
1/2 teasp, exactly. An entire teasp would be WAY too much.
No_Math_1234
I worked in a high volume dining hall and all of the recipes were in a database. They were based off of small batches and then a program scaled them up for high volume. This ended up with recipes calling for 120 tablespoons or 89.25 teaspoons. We weren’t allowed to write in conversions for some reason so you had to do the math in your head. It taught me all my conversions real quick. I suggested once that we at least use metric since this was an engineering college but that request didn’t go anywhere.
-Fedaykin-
Id shit can everything but the oil and garlic and then add an egg and make aioli. Because fuck whatever this is.
vibrantcrab
I worked somewhere where their bruschetta “recipe” was just a list of ingredients. It was always different depending on who made it, obviously.
I got promoted to kitchen manager when a new owner took over and I wrote an actual recipe and added salt and pepper. People liked mine better because it actually had a lot of flavor and it wasn’t soupy. They usually drowned it in balsamic vinaigrette so that’s all you could taste.
Ended up leaving that job because the new owner was batshit crazy.
JaredJDub
You should put in a comma toward the end so it all sounds like they’re talking to you and it ends with “Topped with oregano, sexy”.
fuckyourcanoes
Nobody else even needs to be able to cook my recipes these days, and I’d still sort out proper unit conversions. This is a disgraceful mess. I’d be embarrassed to show it to anyone, much less a professional cook.
interrob4ng
This looks like all of the recipes in the kitchen I’m now overseeing. Explaining to the owner that the recipes are fucked has been a losing endeavor. The kitchen I came from had every recipe in metric. It was heaven. Organized and efficient.
CptCheesesticks81
You had me at “oregano sexy.”
bossmt_2
Yield: 1 cup
5 cups extra virgin olive oil
uhtredsmom
Dude the last place I worked our head chef was 70+ years old and every single recipe we had was wrong. I got in so much shit when I first started there. How the fuck am I supposed to know????
29 Comments
The more you look at it the worse it gets
In all fairness, have you seen most line cooks?
11.5 tsp is crazy work
This cookbook is the property of the half-blood chef
Why and when is salt optional?
1/2 teasp of **what??**
> 5 cups of oil
> 1 cup yield
I remember reading a “recipe” that was just a list of ingredients. The cook who was with me responded with a “figure it out.” Like, no, what the fuck? You’re gonna show me what to do.
>minced then crushed
What is oregano sexy?
Ooh what is oregano sexy and where can I get some?
Kitchen staff are such babies. It’s a simple recipe, just follow it and stop whining.
Anyways someone pour me a glass with 47 tsp of wine (optional) and 2 ice cubes (sexy)
This was written by someone with no knowledge of measurement conversions or food prep in any way.
My favorite part is that it yields 1c.
Yields 1 cup but need 5 cups of oil
1/2 teasp, exactly. An entire teasp would be WAY too much.
I worked in a high volume dining hall and all of the recipes were in a database. They were based off of small batches and then a program scaled them up for high volume. This ended up with recipes calling for 120 tablespoons or 89.25 teaspoons. We weren’t allowed to write in conversions for some reason so you had to do the math in your head. It taught me all my conversions real quick. I suggested once that we at least use metric since this was an engineering college but that request didn’t go anywhere.
Id shit can everything but the oil and garlic and then add an egg and make aioli. Because fuck whatever this is.
I worked somewhere where their bruschetta “recipe” was just a list of ingredients. It was always different depending on who made it, obviously.
I got promoted to kitchen manager when a new owner took over and I wrote an actual recipe and added salt and pepper. People liked mine better because it actually had a lot of flavor and it wasn’t soupy. They usually drowned it in balsamic vinaigrette so that’s all you could taste.
Ended up leaving that job because the new owner was batshit crazy.
You should put in a comma toward the end so it all sounds like they’re talking to you and it ends with “Topped with oregano, sexy”.
Nobody else even needs to be able to cook my recipes these days, and I’d still sort out proper unit conversions. This is a disgraceful mess. I’d be embarrassed to show it to anyone, much less a professional cook.
This looks like all of the recipes in the kitchen I’m now overseeing. Explaining to the owner that the recipes are fucked has been a losing endeavor. The kitchen I came from had every recipe in metric. It was heaven. Organized and efficient.
You had me at “oregano sexy.”
Yield: 1 cup
5 cups extra virgin olive oil
Dude the last place I worked our head chef was 70+ years old and every single recipe we had was wrong. I got in so much shit when I first started there. How the fuck am I supposed to know????
“I can open a restaurant, how hard could it be.”
Oregano Sexy might be my new drag name
Directions unclear – my dick is in a whisk
Pardon me, do you have any 𝓖𝓻𝓮𝔂 𝓟𝓸𝓾𝓹𝓸𝓷?